Since this will be my final “substantive” post for the ‘thon, I figure it should be funny. And so, for your amusement, straight from the email archives, it’s…
50 Things I Learned About Life From Watching Anime:
1. War sucks.
2. You CAN have too many women.
3. Smart people wear glasses.
4. Music foreshadows plot.
5. The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you’ll get.
6. (Inversely, the harder you try, the less you’ll get.)
7. When you die, make a long speech, and don’t finish the last sentence.
8. Snow means love.
9. The best teams come in fives.
10. In space, you can hear everything.
11. There’s always room for flashbacks!
12. When in China, listen to your tour guide.
13. The good guy always has the BLUE glow.
14. Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.
15. Believe in goddesses.
16. Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.
17. Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.
18. Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.
19. Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to, well, ANYTHING.
20. The coolest weapon is still the sword.
21. The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.
22. Female androids are sexy; male androids are….male androids.
23. The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.
24. School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.
25. A show without sexual tension isn’t worth watching.
26. Love knows no race, species, or logic.
27. If it’s homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).
28. Never trust a huge corporation.
29. Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.
30. Never fall for the girl who names her mech with a French name.
31. Never fall in love with a psychic.
32. You can never have too much hair.
33. Sweating is a sure sign of stress.
34. Daydreaming leads to accidents.
35. Everyone wants to conquer Japan.
36. The cute, fuzzy creature isn’t what it seems.
37. Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.
38. Always take gravity into account.
39. Settings and faces are self-generating.
40. Losing your temper can be therapeutic.
41. There’s nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.
42. You can never have too many subplots.
43. If she sings, she’s doomed.
44. You always remember the sad endings.
45. Double suicide is romantic.
46. Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.
47. Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.
48. Fancy ice cream is for girls only.
49. The most virtuous character will die.
50. Hot water has innumerable benefits.
See you in half an hour for the grand finale!
