It’s the two-hour extravaganza with the silly title! So what is it, really? As far as I can tell, it’s an excuse to showcase Cartoon Network original programming.

Hosted by Johnny Bravo, the Fancy Anvil Show makes a good attempt to spoof all those other self-important award shows that air at this time of year. At the same time it gives CN a chance to run a few choice episodes of their core properties, namely Dexter’s Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls and Ed Edd and Eddy.

Some of the presenter bits were clever, the human host segments weren’t too painful, and the production quality was surprisingly good. On the flipside, the continual appearance of Goober and the Ghost Chasers as an award nominee was moderately absurd. I mean, who the hell cares about a Scooby Doo knockoff? I don’t like Scooby Doo in the first place, let alone cheap imitations.

As an obligatory beef, I’d like to point out that there was absolutely no anime representation on the show. None. No Tenchi Muyo, no Cowboy Bebop, not even any DBZ… and with the amount of Dragonball aired on that channel, you’d think they’d leverage that somehow. Ah well.

Overall, it’s cute enough to watch but not so great that you’re going to want to tape it for posterity.

Please note that I’ve only seen the first installment of the miniseries, but since I’m not terribly interested in seeing the rest I suppose now’s as good a time as any to post my review.

I’m not what you would call a huge Steven King fan. I admire his abilities, and I like some of his stories, but that’s about as far as it goes.

The above statement has almost nothing to do with Firestarter: Rekindled, largely because King doesn’t appear to have been involved with the project. Good for him, I say. One his stories I do like is the original Firestarter novel; this miniseries appears to be an attempt to tell the rest of the story, as if the novel was somehow incomplete.

Who is Charlie McGee, circa 2000-something? Apparently she’s an indecisive, absentminded loner who likes to go out and dance, get hot-and-heavy with strange men and then leave them hanging (as it were) before she burns them to a crisp. You’d think she would learn after a while, but oh well. She must have animal instincts or some nonsense.

The erstwhile hero of the tale is a feeble loser who only clues in fairly late in the first installment that he works for EvilCorp. *sigh*

Oh yes, and Malcolm McDowell seems to enjoy his role as the dastardly John Rainbird. It’s a little like having Dennis Hopper as the Raving Lunatic in any given movie… it’s not like we’re going to expect anything new and interesting, are we?

I forgot, Hopper’s in this miniseries too, but he didn’t show up the first night so I can’t comment on his role. Sorry.

I think I’ll stop picking nits here, and just say it flat-out: I’m not impressed. The characters are either underplayed to the point of flaccidity or overplayed to the point of absurdity. Things happen that don’t make sense logically or motivationally. Just about the only interesting parts are some of the flashback sequences, which is kind of sad when you sit around and think about it.

Firestarter: Rekindled earns a couple of points for neat pyrotechnic effects, a few details that seem to have been properly thought through, and a cute rant about the state of the library arts in America. And that’s about it, folks.

Firestarter: Rekindled site