I’d like to suggest that the deluded sicko who came here via a search for “sakura humping her staff” should just turn himself over to the authorities right now.

I have nothing at all to say to whoever found Mari’s thingie via the phrase “peter pan slash fiction.” Instead I’ll just back away slowly, ever so slowly. She’s getting good traffic off of “mutual masturbation” as well, I feel obliged to point out.

For those keeping score, “ryoko naked” is currently way ahead of “aeka naked” by a roughly five-to-one ratio in search hits to this website. In a similar vein, if you’ll pardon the potential pun, “family orgy” is on top of “grandma orgy” in search hits to Mari’s thingie by about four to one.

All of this is in lieu of a real journal entry. I figured too much time had passed since my last search-query round up. Aren’t you lucky I have such a strong sense of responsibility to keep the spirit of Google bashing/baiting alive around here?

“Wookie Nookie.”

That will be all. Thank you.

So I’m eyeballing one of my favorite regular reads, and notice two things.

One, that my link is gone from the link sidebar. Two, this:

“Oh,” I say to myself. “That explains the missing text link.”

Useful bit of Photoshopping, that. Feel free to use it, if you’re into the graphical linky thing. I’d appreciate if you copied the image to your own server, though. Thanks.

So I was chatting this afternoon with someone who mentioned that in a particular movie they’d seen very recently, one of the lead characters used the butt end of a bladed weapon to hit his opponent. I was instantly reminded of one more bit of pain from my new least-favorite movie. (See two entries down, if you’re new here.)

At what point did swords become blunt instruments? When you give someone a sword and place them in harm’s way, surrounded by armed opponents who are (presumably) trying to kill the aforementioned someone… why does that someone not use the dangerous part of the weapon against those opponents? I’ve lost track of how many times a supposedly-intelligent hero grabs a sword, bangs it against the other guy’s sword a few times and then proceeds to either kick, punch or bludgeon the other guy, often with the pommel of his sword. I’m not impressed.

At first we only saw this sort of thing in TV shows of the “Saturday Afternoon Special” variety. You know, Hercules and Beastmaster and, oh, a bunch of other craptacular shows whose names escape me. Apparently it’s catching on in moviemaking, though, a trend that only fills me with dread as political correctness wins out over anything resembling suspension of disbelief.

Please don’t give me any nonsense about reducing the level of violence for the sake of the younger viewers, either. All you’re teaching the kiddies is that swords are perfectly safe and can’t hurt anybody. Oh, and that heroes are phenomenally stupid gits who carry the day with sheer luck and a sprinkling of charm. If you want to protect the children from violence, make sure they don’t watch violent shows. It’s a radical notion, to be sure.

I’m not asking for blood and guts. I would, however, like at least the illusion that enemies are being dispatched through something resembling sensible use of the weapons at hand. Perhaps I’m expecting too much of my mindless fantasy entertainment…