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TMTT 08

A new run of OAVs with new title music and lots of character development and backstory. Watch with glee as the Tenchi Muyo gang says, Hello! Baby.

Aeka: Hello, Masaki Residence. Oh, hi! Sorry the show’s writers couldn’t think of a name for you, Tenchi’s Aunt. What? Okay, I’m on my way.
Tenchi: Welcome home! How was The Baby, Sasami?
Sasami: *blush* He was cute. *scamper*
Tenchi: Er, okay. Thanks for bringing Sasami home, Auntie. Why don’t you bring The Baby next time you visit?
*ding dong*
Tenchi: Oh, hi Auntie– urk!
  Auntie: Hi. Here’s the baby, the formula, the toys, the diapers. His mother’s ill. I knew you wouldn’t mind.
Tenchi: B-b-baby?
Taro: *squeal*
Tenchi: But auntie– …?
  Auntie: So long, sucker! *wave*
Tenchi: So… it’s up to us to take care of The Baby for a few days.
Mihoshi: He’s so cute!
Ryoko: Tenchi was cuter as a baby.
Sasami: Really?
Aeka: Yes, well, he must be related to me. After all, he’s Tenchi’s Aunt’s Grandson. Don’t ask me how I know that.
Ryoko: Whatever. Look, Tenchi! Let’s play house!
Taro: Gyah! *pinch*
Ryoko: Hey, stop it! Stop it, Baby!
Aeka: See, he doesn’t like you. *grab*
Ryoko: Why you… *grab*
Taro: *drool*
Aeka: Ewww.
Ryoko: Ah-hahahaha…
Taro: *drip*
Ryoko: *blink* Ewww.
Aeka: Ewww! *fling*
Tenchi: Mwaah!
*crash* *thud*
Tenchi: Well now, did you enjoy your trip?
Sasami: Little Taro is crying, Ryo-ohki.
Ryo-ohki: Myow meow. (Translation: “Don’t tell me there’s something in this house cuter than I am. This I’ve gotta see.”)
Taro: Waaah! Waaah!
Tenchi: Mihoshi, would you change his diaper for me? Not that I can imagine you doing it correctly, mind you.
Mihoshi: Uh, okay!
Tenchi: Aeka, your dress got soaked, you should go wash it.
Aeka: And I’ll wash that linen too, Tenchi! See how helpful I am?
Mihoshi: Oh how thoughtful, an instruction book for diapers!
Ryo-ohki: Meow. (Translation: “Like that’s going to help.”)
Taro: Waaah! Waaah! *grab* *thwip* *thump* *thwip* *thump*
Ryo-ohki: Meow! Meow! MEOW! MEOW! (Translation: “Stop! That! Right! This! Instant! You! Brat! Ow!”)
Mihoshi: Nope, I don’t think I’m doing it right…
Ryoko: Tenchiiiii… I guess he’s not here. *ponder*
Ryo-ohki: Mrow meoooooow! (Translation: “Those are my EAAAAAARS… Owie…”)
Tenchi: You doing alright, Mihoshi?
Mihoshi: What do YOU think? I mean, really now.
Ryoko: *fade* Here’s a bottle for you, kiddo.
Ryo-ohki: Mrow meow mrow. (Translation: “Freedom. Finally. Stupid brat.”)
Mihoshi: Ryoko, his diaper cover’s not on yet, and Tenchi told me to put it on.
Ryoko: Forget that. Let me go on a bit more about how much cuter Tenchi was as a baby.
Tenchi: Hmm, someone must’ve made some milk already.
Taro: Waaah! Waaah!
Ryoko: Shut up and drink, kid.
Tenchi: Ryoko, what are you doing? You know, the kid can’t drink straight powdered formula. Sheesh.
Aeka: *scrub* *scrub*
Mihoshi: Wow, I did it! Now he’s okay.
  Tenchi/Ryoko: *applause*
Taro: *drip*
  Tenchi/Ryoko: Oh.
  Aeka/Mihoshi: *scrub* *scrub*
  Guardians: So much for the theory that our lives couldn’t get any more degrading. Air-drying baby garments, oh what joy.
*flying* *grabbing* *tasting* *crying* *sobbing* *competitive feeding* *laughing* *changing* *piddling*
Tenchi: *soak* Hmm. Babies are such hard work… Hmm?
Mihoshi: Now it’s time to take a bath!
Taro: Gyah!
Mihoshi: Um, now, that won’t do you any good. I can’t breastfeed you.
Tenchi:
Mihoshi: Now, stop that… oh my. Oh my…
Tenchi: *nosebleed* *faint*
Sasami: *fan* There there, Tenchi. You can’t help it if you’re a naughty boy, can you?
Tenchi: Thank you, Sasami. And no comment.
Mihoshi: Oh my, what do I do?
Ryoko: Diapers. Diapers. Diapers.
Aeka: Milk. Milk. Milk.
Mihoshi: Oh my, what do I do?
Ryoko: Diapers. Diapers. Diapers.
Aeka: Milk. Milk. Milk. *glug*
  Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *snore*
Taro: Gyah! *crawl* *crawl* *knock* *knock* *tumble*
Washuu: *tap* *tap* Hello? Who’s there? WAAAH! What the…?
Taro:
Washuu: Huh? *grab* *run* Oh, I see. Lazy butts. So, let’s make you up a batch of Red Crab Brand formula, kiddo. Um, what am I DOING?
Taro: Gah gyah!
  Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *snore*
Tenchi: *yawn* Wha–? The baby’s gone! Where is he? Oh, Washuu!
Washuu: Wha–?!? I- I- I-…
Tenchi: You’re taking care of the baby!
Washuu: Yeah, um, the kid was annoying me. Don’t ask how that translates into hours and hours of caring, nurturing and cooking.
Ryoko: Good morning, Tenchi! How about a morning kiss!
Washuu: *thrust*
Ryoko: Oh. The kid.
Taro: Gah wah.
Ryoko: What do you want?
Washuu: Milk, of course.
Ryoko: *grab* How do you know? Here kid, eat up.
Washuu: *grab* Hey there, crazy girl. What are you trying to do, suffocate him? Here, let me give you a quick lesson in childcare.
Ryoko: *glare* Sorry, mom!
Washuu: I didn’t raise you to be a good-for-nothing.
Ryoko: You didn’t raise me at all.
Mihoshi: Um, duh, like, what are we doing here, taking care of a baby?
Washuu: Okay, I’m outta here. The average IQ in the kitchen just plummeted.
Mihoshi: Just leave the baby to me!
Washuu: *tap* *tap* *pause* *pout* *flop* *sigh* I just can’t work… I guess I can’t put off this darned character development any longer. *peek*
Taro: Gyah! *foosh*
Washuu: Those girls! Asleep again.
*splash* *splash*
Taro: *grab*
Washuu: Ow! Don’t pull, okay?
*flashback*
Taro: *frown*
Washuu: Huh?
*float*
Washuu: GYAAAAAA!
*flush*
Washuu: *scrub* Why do I always have to clean the flying sauna?
*musical interlude* *much Washuu/Taro/Tenchi/Ryo-ohki cuteness* *flying Guardians*
Tenchi: Well, Washuu, it looks like the baby’s yours now.
Washuu: I don’t have a choice. How about some insight into the mindset of a baby?
Tenchi: They’re so selfishly cute. Or is that cutely selfish?
Washuu: That’s all you can be, when you’re a baby. What?
Tenchi: *blush* Well, um… I figure I should get some character background into this episode. I lost my mother when I was very young.
Taro: Waaah! Waaah!
Tenchi: Um, I should be going now. Sorry I woke him!
Washuu: Tenchi? … Goodnight.
Tenchi: Goodnight, Washuu. (Whew.)
Taro: Ma… ma… mama!
Washuu: No, I’m not your mom. *hug*
*ding dong*
Tenchi: Um, Washuu?
  Ryoko/Mihoshi/Aeka: *yawn* *snore*
  Auntie: Thank you for taking care of him. You did a great job for your age.
Washuu: (syrupy sweet) Oh, well, there were SO many girls around, I didn’t have to take care of him ALONE…
Taro: Mama, mama!
Washuu: *blush*
  Auntie: Well, it’s time to go. Bye bye, and thanks again!
Washuu: Yeah! He’s gone!
Tenchi: Washuu, you worked hardest of all of us.
Washuu: *flashback* Oh, babies! Tenchi, as if you couldn’t have guessed by now, I had a baby once. My husband was from a wealthy family, blah blah, they took the baby, blah blah, now I stay young looking ’cause I never want to be a bratty adult like them. There, is that enough sob-story for you?
Tenchi: Washuu, that’s so terrible! Is there anything I can do to help– *grab* Huh? *stare*
Washuu: Enough of this heavy backstory. How about a blatant come-on instead?
Tenchi: Um, Washuu? You’re not “little” anymore. What gives?
Washuu: Now now, Tenchi. Give us a kiss.
*SMASH*
Washuu: Ryoko, is that a nice thing to do to your mommy?
Ryoko: “Mommy,” my butt. Nice try.
*toss* *splash*
Aeka: Miss Washuu! How dare you? And you’re a married woman, keep your hands off of Tenchi!
Washuu: I had a husband. Had. 20,000 years ago. Let’s just say I’m pent up.
*shove* *splash*
Ryoko: I’m not done with you!
Aeka: Ryoko, how dare you!
Mihoshi: Stop it, both of you!
Washuu: Some people never grow up, do they Tenchi? *nudge* *nudge*
Sasami: *blank gaze*

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