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TMTT 03

The third time may not be a charm, but it is the introduction of the world’s cutest anime critter. Join with me now as we say, Hello, Ryo-ohki!

  Young Aeka: Hey half-brother and future husband, I made you a flower garland! And this flower is the color of your eyes, which I’m sure will be a plot point when I grow up.
  Young Yosho: Um, great, thanks kid.
*evil laughter* *zap!* *boom!*
Tenchi: Yosho? He’s toast.
Aeka: Well, that dream sucked. Being stuck on Earth sucks too. And Ryoko, she sucks the most.
Ryoko: A-fishing I will go, a-fishing I will go…
Sasami: Alright, Aeka, it’s time to get your sorry butt out of this room. Oh, the things I put up with!
Aeka: It’s a fine thing when my little sister is more responsible than I am, even if she is a manipulative brat.
Ryoko: Drat, you aren’t dead.
Sasami: Hey, whatcha got?
Ryoko: It just hatched this morning! It’s my baby, and Tenchi is the father!
  Aeka/Tenchi/Sasami: You said WHAT?
*crack* *pop!*
Tenchi: Waaaaah!
Ryo-ohki: Mrow! (Translation: “Look, I’m a cat! I’m a rabbit! I’m a baby spaceship! That Pikachu ain’t got nothin’ on me. PH3@R MY CUTENESS!”)
Sasami: Ryoko, you had those two totally convinced. You rock!
Aeka: You’re all making fun of me!
Tenchi: I’m not, honest.
Aeka: Sez you. *slap*
Grandfather: What’s the matter, miss?
Aeka: Oh, nothing, just that your eyes are the same color as my beloved betrothed half-brother. I’m sure it’s a coincidence.
Sasami: Ryoko, why is the Ryo-ohki licking itself like that?
Ryoko: Because it can, of course.
Tenchi: You’re so mean, Ryoko. Oh, and I gave Aeka the sword back.
Ryoko: All my energy is in that sword, how could you! *swoon*
Grandfather: Here, allow me. *squeeze*
Tenchi: Grandpa! Sheesh, how embarassing.
Ryoko: How dare you grope me! I wanted Tenchi to grope me!
*punch* *thwap*
Grandfather: She’s got some spunk, Tenchi. Things are definitely picking up around here.
Ryoko: And you blocked my megapunch how, exactly?
Grandfather: Time for you to take your parental responsibilities seriously, Tenchi.
Tenchi: …the hell? Grandpa, you KNOW that Ryoko was joking, right?
Grandfather (to Sasami): Nice boy, but has all the playfulness of an oak tree.
Ryo-ohki: *hop* *hop* *tap* Mrowr. (Translation: “Stupid glass door.”)
Sasami: What’s up, Ryo-ohki? Oh, you see Aeka out there.
Ryo-ohki: *fade*
Sasami: Wait up! *bonk* Stupid glass door.
Aeka: Bwah! Annoying little, um… whatever you are. Go away, Ryo-ohki!
Ryo-ohki: Meow! (Translation: “Behold my cuteness! You cannot resist it!”)
Aeka: Well, I’m going to go away, and don’t you dare follow me. Really. I mean it. Honest.
Ryo-ohki: *hop* *hop*
Aeka: Oh no, it’s a Royal Teardrop flower just like in that flashback sequence. Boo hoo!
Ryo-ohki: *lick* Mrow. *nuzzle*
Aeka: Fine, fine, you’re cute. I give up.
Ryo-ohki: Meow. (Translation: “Damn right, lady. Don’t expect any more fancy flower deliveries, though.”)
Ryoko: A-snooping I will go, a-snooping I will go… where IS that sword anyway?
Tenchi: Ow! Grandfather, what’s the point of swinging at a block of wood dangling from a string while balancing on a series of stumps in the ground?
Grandfather: To remind you that you suck.
Aeka: What a coincidence that Tenchi’s sword training is just like that of the Jurai royal family! Waaah!
Tenchi: What was that noise? *bonk* Ow! Was that necessary, Grandfather?
Grandfather: You know it.
Tenchi: What a coincidence that Aeka’s blood is red just like human blood. Right.
Grandfather: I’ll just leave her in your care, Tenchi, before she can pester me with questions I don’t intend to answer yet.
Sasami: Ryoko, please make the rain stop.
Ryoko: Boy are you dense. Do you really think a backwater planet like Earth has weather control yet?
Sasami: Well, if you’re going to be THAT way about it, I’ll just let you know that the sword you’re so interested in is with Aeka. Neener.
Tenchi: Here, Aeka, you’ll be safe and warm in this shelter while I go outside and catch pneumonia. Chivalry sucks.
Aeka: Mwaaaah!
Tenchi: What happened?
Ryo-ohki: Meee-ow. (Translation: “I thought those were carrots. It was dark, I couldn’t see very well, okay?”)
  Aeka/Tenchi: Whoops! Hormone alert! Ahem!
Tenchi: Well, now that we got past that awkward moment, I’ll clumsily try to cheer you up. How about you stay at my place for a while?
Ryo-ohki: Mrow meow. (Translation: “I found the real carrots. Gimme.”)
Aeka: Look, we found Funaho, my brother’s spaceship-tree! Let’s check out the surround-sound movie theater.
Tenchi: Look, it’s Ryoko!
Aeka: Look, it’s Yosho!
Tenchi: And that’s how the jewels got into the sword.
Aeka: And now I know my brother is alive. Here, you keep the sword for now.
Tenchi: You do know that I suck at swordfighting, right?
Sasami: Oh, there you are! Ryoko and I were looking for you, and Ryo-ohki met us halfway. He brought us here.
Ryo-ohki: Meow! (Translation: “He? Bite your tongue, space child.”)
Ryoko: Way to go, Tenchi! You got the sword back!
Aeka: I gave it to him, silly space pirate.
Tenchi: She really did.
Ryoko: Oh, I see how it is. Feh! *fade*
Aeka: Just let her go, Tenchi.
Tenchi: We both know what she’s like when she’s pissed. We should all be worried.
Aeka: Whatever. Come along, Tenchi!
Tenchi:
Sasami: Tee hee! Way to go, sis!

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