I face a number of challenges in my new job. For instance, I need to learn one arcane system around which our tasking and billing revolve and another slightly less arcane system around which my primary job description revolves. I also need to learn and become comfortable with the process by which I accept, resolve and document individual tasks. There’s also the matter of tracking what I’m doing (and for whom) for any given quarter-hour of the workday.

All of this pales in comparison to my biggest challenge, however. You see, it turns out that my schedule is to work from 8:00am to 5:00pm each weekday. Factor in the hour and a half of transit time (walk to MAX station, wait for and catch MAX, ride MAX for about 50 minutes, walk from station to office) and that means I need to get out of bed no later than twenty minutes after five o’clock in the morning.

5:20 in the A.M.? Are you kidding me? I’m going to be a zombie! I may be getting home at nearly the same time that I used to when I worked at “that other place,” but I’m getting out of bed a whole two hours earlier.

Well, maybe I’ll adjust beautifully. I won’t know until I try. Suffice to say that the prospect is daunting, which when added to all of the other daunting parts of my new job results in my having to fight down the occasional wave of feeling utterly out of my depth.

We’ll find out, won’t we?

No more “unenjoyment” for this little grey duck! I just received and accepted a job offer, and I will probably start work Wednesday morning. I’ll go into more detail about the gig itself when (and if) I’m sure it’s appropriate to do so, but suffice to say that it’s an in-the-office job managing servers and systems from an administrative and troubleshooting standpoint, and serving as a “first contact” support mechanism for clients. The pay is comfortable, the job will be challenging (in terms of both initial adjustment and long-term activities) and I get to set the standard (and develop the processes) for what amounts to a new kind of job position within the company.

I have some experience with that sort of thing. This time around I know what to look for right from the get-go, however. For instance, I’m already thinking about how I’m going to document… everything. (You think I’m kidding. Hah!)

Maybe my overall stress levels won’t go down very much in the immediate future, but at least it’s a positive kind of stress, the “do I really think I can do this?” kind instead of the “I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed” kind. Three and a half months of “I’m doomed” really took the joy out of life. I want my joy back.

(Hey, maybe in a few weeks I’ll be able to afford more RAM for this webserver. Cool.)

Bye bye, job hunting. Hello, new challenge!

To Whom It May Concern:

Perhaps your company or similar organization requires someone of considerable skill with computer technology. I humbly submit that if your needs are either strongly in the area of workgroup server administration, email administration, end-user desktop support, webserver administration or just plain “anything with a keyboard and mouse attached,” and you’re located in the City of Roses or thereabouts, I’m the guy you’re looking for.

I spent nine solid years learning what it takes to keep servers and workstations running for an office of a couple hundred souls, as well as how to keep those souls in tune with their computers. I also consider myself quite wise to the needs of business, and tend to take the long and wide view of the process of change.

Here I present just a few of many highlights from my previous work engagement as a one-man IT department for most of a decade:

• Planned, tested and implemented company-wide in-house audio streaming system that has seen steady use for several years with very little downtime or maintenance.
• Converted wholesale three entire email systems, one after another as we acquired other companies, to the corporate WAN-based email operation.
• Served as hostmaster for the company’s banner website, rapidly providing an urgently needed solution followed by many years of solid performance and availability.
• Implemented security, process and documentation changes bringing systems up to Sarbanes/Oxley compliance.
• Developed web-based documentation and information dissemination system in cooperation with the General Managers’ staff.
• Successfully rolled out web browser software changes that led to a near-total elimination of adware, spyware and other malicious bits of code from end-user desktops over the course of a mere few months.
• Created numerous small quality-of-life features that, while not taking an inordinate amount of time to develop, scratched the itches of several high-profile groups within the company.
• Provided valuable specialized knowledge (such as in the areas of web development and Linux operating system arcana) to branches outside the local operation as well as to the corporate office itself.

My specific product experience is with a mixture of Novell’s Netware server and GroupWise email products, several flavors of Linux including Debian, RedHat/Fedora and Ubuntu, Symantec’s Corporate Edition anti-virus products, Windows 2000 Server, the Apache webserver platform including MySQL and PHP, and providing Windows desktop support over the usual variety of versions from 95 through XP. When you get right down to it, there’s very little I can’t learn in a reasonably short time, and I have a knack for “making it work” when things are going strange.

If you think I might be a good fit for your organization, or if you just want to find out if I’m really as good as I like to think I am, please take a moment to pen a quick email addressed to “greyduck” at “gmail.com” and I’ll answer any questions or place any call or meet any time you like. (I apologize for the lack of clickable or copy-and-paste-able address, but one can’t be too careful about junk email these days, can one?)

To you, prospective employer, and to all of my readers, I offer thanks for your time and indulgence, and I bid you a good day.

I just got the call. I’ve been let go.

My cellphone will go away shortly. My access to servers and what-not will go away. Oh, yeah, that means this website and a number of others hosted on this server will probably go away. That includes my email account, as well as others’ email accounts. If things suddenly vanish… you’ll know why.

And I have no good prospects, and I do not look good on paper, and I have no idea what I’m going to do now.

Wish me luck. I could certainly use some, for a change.

You don’t make a violent angry scene at the workplace without facing the consequences later on. At least, this is the case if you’re a responsible citizen of the world, which is a status I continually strive for.

I was just asked, politely, not to show up at work tomorrow while the Powers That Be consult with Corporate HR about the problem that is yours truly. Before anyone gets angry at… anyone, really, please keep in mind that they’re within their rights to do this much. I don’t know what sort of action they want to take next, though, and that’s what scares me silly. If I’m lucky it’ll be some docked pay and a mark on my permanent record. If I’m not… well, I’m trying very hard not to dwell on the worst-case scenario. Very.

Of course, eventually one of my rare flashes of mindless rage had to get me into more trouble than my natural talents and normal good nature could get me back out of, huh? Maybe this is the time I finally have to pay the piper. It would just figure, wouldn’t it? Still… I hope not.

I like my job, dammit.

My workday lasted a bit less than two hours. I only interacted with one person in anything more than a “hi, how are you” fashion in that time.

I thoroughly lost my temper at the end of it, which is why I’m home right now.

If you’re going to lace every conversation we have with references to how important you are, how much work you have to get done, and how you need your desires fulfilled right now and exactly to specification, don’t be surprised if my agitation levels rise consistently throughout our interaction. This is especially true if you blow me off twice, when I come over to work on your problem, because you’re on the phone and can’t possibly just move out the way the two feet it would take for me to get at your keyboard and mouse.

Obviously, someone’s time is more valuable than mine, eh? I have nothing else to do but: Sit and wait, put up with a stream of comments about how much work you have to do and how the problem I’m waiting to fix is such a bloody inconvenience for you, and leap into action when it’s convenient for you to finally get the hell out of my way.

I’m there trying to help, goddammit. The least you can do is respect my time, and not give me flack about how I go about my job or try to impress me with how bloody damned important you are and how much work you have to do. You know what? There are a couple hundred other people in the building who also have lots of work to do.

Oddly enough, I’m one of them.

Sorry about your wireless mouse. I’m sure you’re such an important person that you can get a new one ordered, post haste.