Category Archive: Quotes

Apr 16

Captain Tightpants I Am Not

I strolled toward the front door, shades in hand, denim jacket on, ready to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine. Feeling whimsical, I announced, “I aim to misbehave.” Without missing a beat, Dolly (front desk/accounting gal) replied, “Do you even know how?” “…Well. A little bit. I’m learning. Taking night classes, you know.” Apparently I …

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Nov 10

I like my sea kittens battered and fried.

In case you were wondering if PETA have completely lost their collective freaking mind, please permit me to present Exhibit #45,829-A, the Sea Kittens. People don’t seem to like fish. That depends upon how they’re prepared, I suppose. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to …

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Oct 08

What’s another $38bil between friends?

Man, I hate posting about current events. I keep up on them, mind you. I just don’t post about them very often, mainly because I don’t want to get into arguments with strangers on the Internet. I also don’t want to get into argument with friends on the Internet, come to think on it. With …

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Feb 08

Oh God, save me from your followers.

In case you need an example of why I grow increasingly skeptical and anti-religious as the years go by, let me share with you a bit of something to make you think: The rescuers were there in uniform, and the girl’s parents were interviewed. A reporter asked, “What do you want to say to the …

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Nov 13

Feeling Betrayed, Are We?

David Morgan-Mar is an awfully clever fellow, the man responsible for the inaccurately named “Irregular Webcomic.” Today’s entry is amusing on its own merits, but what broke through my general posting malaise is the commentary he wrote to go along with the comic. To wit: Nothing anyone does can invalidate the pleasure you got out …

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Nov 07

The King Of Perfect Timing

I’ve always had a few knacks, among them a knack for being proven wrong almost immediately after making a definitive statement. This time the knack which has bitten me in the backside is that which gives me the utmost in perfectly ironic timing. If I do something, there’s a good chance that if I’d simply …

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